3 Disordered Eating Comments That May Signal a Hidden Eating Disorder
Not every eating disorder is obvious. Sometimes the first clues are hidden in everyday conversations.
Some signs of an eating disorder are hard to miss. Maybe your loved one has started skipping meals, counting calories, or eating only when alone or in secret. She may exercise excessively and keep a fitness tracker to meticulously monitor macros. A look at her online social media accounts shows that she follows multiple diet and “thinspo” influencers. She weighs herself twice a day and frequently examines her perceived flaws in the mirror. These warning signs serve as red flags that your loved one may need professional help.
But sometimes an eating disorder is more difficult to identify. Sometimes, we can only go based on subtle comments a person makes – and even these comments can sound “normal” in the midst of our society’s obsessive diet culture. Below are several statements that could indicate a person is struggling with food and body image issues. Not everyone who makes these comments has an eating disorder, but they do indicate a possible distorted relationship with food.
Disordered Eating Comment #1: “I Only Eat Healthy Foods”
On the surface, this comment sounds harmless. After all, we are bombarded by messages from physicians and the fitness community to focus on “nutritious eating” and given lists of foods to help us achieve that goal. The problem is that such advice labels foods as healthy and unhealthy, good and bad. It attaches morality to food, sending the message that if you choose a snack from the “good” list, you yourself are good and behaving in a commendable way. If you choose from the “bad” list, you are bad, weak, and immoral and should feel a deep sense of shame for your inability to control your appetite. A sensitive individual who feels anxious about following a specific moral code and worries about others’ opinions may develop rigid rules around these lists, restricting what he or she eats and developing a harmful relationship with food.
Plus, it’s simply scientifically wrong to state that some foods have no nutritional content or value. A chocolate bar offers antioxidants that combat the body’s oxidative stress and may improve cognitive function. Cupcakes provide a quick boost of energy and increase the brain’s serotonin levels, which is connected to happiness. Food does not have to always be from diet culture’s approved list; even those foods it tells us to avoid have value.
Disordered Eating Comment #2: “I Was Good—I Worked Out, So Now I Can Eat More”
This comment implies that calories must be earned and that one way to earn them is through exercise. The idea is that a hard workout means we can eat extra without feeling guilty, but if we eat extra without working out, it means we don’t deserve it and should feel ashamed. People who make this comment also tend to believe they should eat less on the days they don’t hit the gym. But such transactional thinking can indicate a distorted view of food and physical movement. It can indicate a lack of understanding about how the body really works.
In reality, the body consistently uses energy for various functions and needs food to support overall health. Cutting calories only prevents the body from doing its job and can affect metabolism, muscle recovery, and movement. Furthermore, minimizing food on rest days isn’t healthy or sustainable and can pave the way for an eating disorder. Over time, it can disconnect us from our natural hunger cues and can turn movement into punishment instead of pleasure. It can also reinforce the idea that food must be earned and opens the door for guilt, anxiety, and self-loathing when we worry we “haven’t done enough” and therefore don’t deserve to eat.
Disordered Eating Comment #3: “I’ll Be Happy Once I Weigh ___ Pounds.”
Other endings to this one include “once I can fit into my skinny jeans” or “once I get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.” In reality, many do enjoy the sense of achievement and excitement that occurs when they see that magic number on the scale, and they thrive when others compliment their body. But once feelings and compliments fade away, they often realize they actually aren’t any happier than they were before – in fact, some experience a decrease in happiness. A university study in London even showed that people who lost weight were more likely to suffer from depression. Losing weight won't make you happy. The reason? The physical changes didn’t change their real world problems or remove the sources of stress from their life. When weight loss showed them that these stressors were still there, they felt a greater sense of sadness, disappointment, and frustration that the mental results they’d imagined did not, in fact, occur.
It’s important to recognize that when someone makes this type of comment it can indicate that they are focusing their energy and hope into weight loss as being the key to happiness, while in reality, internal contentment does not come from external changes. Resisting or recovering from an eating disorder means one must learn who she is in her body and how to be happy now.
Why These Mindsets Matter in Identifying Disordered Eating
These comments are three among many that might indicate someone’s latest diet is actually something more serious. Maybe you’ve even caught yourself making – or at least thinking – one of these statements. Distorted thoughts about food, exercise, and weight are serious concerns that might hint at a serious mental illness like anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, or orthorexia. Of course, not everyone who diets has an eating disorder, but diets often serve as a trigger. If you have concerns, encourage your loved one to seek professional help from an informed clinician who can work with them to challenge disordered thoughts – and remind them that each and every body is beautifully and wonderfully made by the Creator.
Do Any of These Phrases Sounds Familiar?
If you're noticing these patterns in yourself or someone you love, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Contact me to schedule a free 15-minute consultation or intake assessment. I’d be honored to walk with you toward freedom and healing.
Written by Jessie Tucker Mitchell, MA, LCMHC, NCC, CEDS, CTP, EDIP
Resource
“Losing Weight Won’t Make You Happy.” (2014). UCL News - UCL – University College London. ucl.ac.uk/news/2014/aug/losing-weight-wont-make-you-happy
This article was originally published on Dwell Ministry.
